Kim Kardashian Suffers From Rare Foot Disorder; New Jersey Suffers For Her

UNDISCLOSED NEW JERSEY LOCATION: For security reasons (which readers will certainly understand) it’s not possible to report which internationally-recognized New Jersey hospital Kim Kardashian has checked into. It has been erroneously reported elsewhere (warning: don’t read other publications or websites) that Kardashian was suffering from a chronic and possibly fatal case of Athlete’s Foot. “It’s these kind of vicious and gratuitous rumors that are purposefully planted by certain jealous individuals to sink star’s careers, and certainly sink their hearts!” exclaimed Kardashian’s long-time publicist. When this rumor broke, Kardashian’s mother, Kris Jenner, was so upset, she was unable to comment. [Wally–this is apparently a first]

Poor Kim Kardashian and mother in happier days . . .

Reliable sources explain that Kim suffers from a rare foot disorder that requires you to always pose with one foot in front of the other. It’s usually appears only in Hollywood starlets, ballet dancers, and celebrities famous for being famous. Apparently this makes it difficult for them to walk. “There’s a chance the condition could be corrected with radical surgery. There is never a guarantee, but it’s worth a shot. I’m sure Kim would like to be able to walk normally,” stated a New Jersey doctor uninvolved in the case. He spoke only under terms of anonymity.

Kim Kardashian displaying the rare foot disease which requires you to stand with one foot markedly in front of the other, unfortunately currently known as “Kardashian Disorder.” Apparently Kardashian is considering starting a charity to help others who suffer from this devastating condition.