PHOTO FLASH: New Jersey Life Captured in Priceless Digital Images!!!

SOUTH ORANGE, NEW JERSEY: It’s a new month: a new season!!! Time for an emotional visual recap of September, in digital photos. Let’s take a quick journey through some of our “hottest stories.” Who knew so much could happen so quickly in beautiful and charming Northern New Jersey??? It makes a hardened reporter almost tearful to look at these images, and realize how quickly life passes by! Carpe Diem!

 

Some of the lovely New Jersey “belles” who have benefited from George Clooney’s “largesse!” (We all know what that means, don’t we, ladies!!!)

Beyonce! The unconfirmed hostess of “The Housewives of Chatham, New Jersey!!!” She sings, she wiggles, she interviews–is there no end to her talent????

Why pay for expensive child care??? Why not have your child’s teeth fixed for a super-super low price, while you have fun and cavort at the Paramus Super Mall??? Dental surgery doesn’t cost that much more than a babysitter when you have the right coupon!!!

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg!!! Some people say she’s the sexiest Supreme Court Justice alive!!!

Vote In The “Who Is The Sexiest Supreme Court Justice Alive Contest!!!” Win Valuable Prizes!!!

TEANECK, NEW JERSEY: The Chamber of Commerce of Teaneck, New Jersey proudly announces its “First Annual Who Is The Sexiest Supreme Court Justice Alive Contest!!!”

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg!!! Some people say she’s the sexiest Supreme Court Justice alive!!!

Due to popular demand, the City Council of Teaneck, New Jersey has organized this exciting and unique contest. The City Council is hoping to lure the nominated Supreme Court Justices to Teaneck to this world-class event! [Wally–do we know anyone who knows the Justices personally? And can we email them?]

Justice Sonia Sotomayor!! Could she be the sexiest Supreme Court Justice alive?? You decide!!!

The New Jersey-ite who comes with the largest party of people, and places the largest number of votes will win unbelievable and awesome prizes! (Dinner for two at Wally Kreibman’s diner next to the Court House in Teaneck, where he will present the winner with an ultra-special “Romantic Supreme Dinner.” Featuring super-special music–everyone’s favorite retro-singing group–The Supremes!!!)

The Supremes!!! [Wally–do you think we could get the Supremes to come to Teaneck???]

Justice Antonin Scalia–is he the “Sexiest Supreme Court Justice Alive???” You decide!!

End of Summer Declared! Hot Dogs Reign Supreme! Secret Guest to Charm While “Judging”

UPPER SADDLE RIVER, NEW JERSEY: Ah! It’s a bittersweet time of the year–“End of Summer!” (Boo hoo!) But there’s still time to “grab the gusto” in this weekend’s “Upper Saddle River Yearly Labor Day Blowout!” Come join us at the edge of the park to catch The Upper Saddle River Crafts Fair!!! [Wally–add twitter address for Blowout here]

Last year’s crafts fair! Can you smell the excitement, and the anticipation?!?

Come feast on the famous “Saddle River Hot Dog Buffet!!” People come from as far away as Trenton, just to taste these delicious “dogs!” Don’t be left out!!!

Design your own cotton candy confection–in different Day-Glo colors! Healthy (reduced fat) and delicious! Awesome!!

Shhh! There’s a rumor–just a rumor, mind you (!) that a special Celebrity Guest may arrive at the fair to snip the red ribbon, and to judge the “Hot Dog Buffet Eating Contest.” Whoever wins, gets a special weekend at Wanda N. Pickenhouser’s condo in Bermuda (in storm season–but beggar’s can’t be choosers!!) Last year V.N. Snozner won the contest. He ate 53 of those big dogs! (And was briefly hospitalized afterwards. A year later–he’s fine!)

Shhh! There’s a rumor that Ruth Bader Ginsburg may be the official judge of the Upper Saddle River “Hot Dog Buffet Eating Contest!” Personally, I’d like to watch Justice Ginsburg eat one of our special vegetarian Tofu hot dogs! Yum, yum!!