HO-HO-KUS, NEW JERSEY: Pigeon-feeding was the cause of an altercation on the steps of City Hall today. “It clearly states, on an easily-read sign, that there is to be no feeding of pigeons,” said Miss Edith Stillwater (93). A former teacher of English in Ridgewood, her enunciation was precise, her posture admirable. [Wally–for more on posture, see the Alexander Technique–http://www.stat.org.uk/%5D “That old battle-ax can go to ****,” stated Corrine Waters (37). “Just because her family has owned half of New Jersey since the 1700s, doesn’t mean she can tell me what to do.” Luckily, Rev. Wallace Stonington, the pastor of the local Episcopal Church, was on the steps (www.episcopalianprincplesprevail.net), and appealed to the womens’ better natures. “We’re all God’s children,” Rev. Stonington reminded them. Ms. Waters was reported to have muttered, under her breath, “That’s a matter of opinion.” [–see link to http://www.agnosticsanonymous.org].
The altercation-causing pigeons. A nuisance–but awfully cute!
F.M. Alexander: the inventor of The Alexander Technique. Stand taller, breathe deeper, move more freely: “Check it out!”
Ridgewood High School: where Miss Stillwater taught for many years. Bring back memories???
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Buzzy Widewheeler: the best darned journalist in Northern New Jersey 