Joan Collins Drops Pounds! Doggies Too? Why Not Join The “Brisk Walk Craze” and Increase Your Sexiness Quotient???

WEEHAKEN, NEW JERSEY: Why not lose unneeded pounds taking three brisk walks each day?

Why not take a sensible brisk walk with your dogs each morning??? Lose those unwanted, and unhealthy pounds!!!

Doctors recommend using walking sticks to help improve balance! And to reduce the possibility of unwanted falls!!

Why not purchase chic and practical walking sticks???  Improve balance, posture, and gait! What could be better???

Being of British extraction, Joan Collins firmly believes in taking several brisk walks a day. (In addition to plenty of fresh air, and taking cold showers!) Joan likes to look glamorous at all times. Here she is, in her special designed Ruby Red walking-gown!!!

Lady Gaga swears by walking! (And a number of other things we can’t mention in a family publication . . . ) She says it keeps her thin, and “desirable!” There you go, ladies!!

Lady Gaga always moves her arms while walking briskly, to burn extra calories! And she always has dry ice follow her, whereever she goes. Just because it’s fun!!!

Why not have a healthy snack after your brisk walk? But not too many calories! You don’t want to undo what you just walked off!!

Doggie treats! Low-calorie!! And if they’re good enough for Fido, they’re good enough for you! Eat up! Yum yum!!!

Baby Chick Tragedy Averted, Love Sparks on Highway

NEWARK, NEW JERSEY: There was a major traffic snarl on a seventeen-mile stretch of highway near Newark this morning, when a baby chick crossed the road, and compassionate drivers jammed on the brakes. [Wally–we need an attractive photo of downtown Newark here–it’s hard, I know]

A truck driver who names baby chicks “Goo Goo.” No wonder she fell in love with him!

Charlie Edwards, from Huntsville, Alabama, jumped out of his eighteen wheeler, and saved the baby chick, which he immediately dubbed, “Goo Goo.” Susan N. Freidlander, of Nyack, New York came to his aid. The attractive forensic psychiatrist (she works with psychotic killers in a state institution, in New York State) and the truck driver felt immediate sparks. “I knew I was destined to marry him. He’s my soul mate,” cooed Dr. Freidlander. “Have you seen her body?” confided Edwards. “Awesome!”

The two had a date on the spot, since it took emergency vehicles three hours to get through the traffic. (The baby chick refused treatment for heat exhaustion.) “The honking didn’t bother me,” said Dr. Freidlander. “I will remember it forever as romantic.” The attractive young couple decided to get married immediately. There was a great honking of horns as the marriage was announced. They will fly out from Newark Airport as soon as traffic moves.

The Little White Chapel in Las Vegas: where the attractive young couple are en route to be married! Isn’t it romantic???